


Innocence

by Lopithecus



Series: KakaGai Week 2020 [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Blood, Day 7 prompt, Hurt/Comfort, KakaGai Week 2020, M/M, kakagai week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28455021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopithecus/pseuds/Lopithecus
Summary: Gai shows up late at night at Kakashi's apartment seeking comfort after a rough mission. Kakashi does his best to provide it.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy
Series: KakaGai Week 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2074056
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51
Collections: KakaGai Week 2020 entries





	Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 7 of KakaGai Week 2020. I read some angsty stories before writing this one, so I was hit with the angst bug.
> 
> The boys are around 11 and 12 years old here, but before Dai dies.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Prompt - Day 7: Free

The incessant, frantic knocking is what wakes Kakashi up from his sleep. He groans and turns to look at his clock. It's in the middle of the night, just after 1:00 am. He can't imagine who would be knocking on his door at this time.

With a tired sigh, Kakashi sits up, rubbing at his heavy eyes, feeling groggy. He throws the blanket off of him and gets up out of bed, shuffling to his door. "I'm coming," he says to the person on the other side of the door, though he knows he didn't say it anywhere near loud enough to be heard. Whoever is there is still knocking loudly. Kakashi hopes his neighbors don't complain

When he opens the door, he's met with the image of Gai standing there, blood covering his body. His eye widens at the sight, keeping the Sharingan eye closed, and his chest constricts in panic. "Gai!"

"Please don't shut the door," Gai pleads quietly, his eyes glazed over and distant. It makes something sting in Kakashi’s chest at the thought that he’s convinced Gai that he’s the type to turn him away even if it looks like he might be bleeding out in front of him.

"I…" Kakashi has never seen Gai like this, at least not in this particular situation. He's slouching in Kakashi's doorway, face flushed red, cheeks and eyes wet with tears, and snot running from his nose. He steps aside. "Come in." Gai limps into the apartment and Kakashi watches closely, trying to assess whose blood that is. "Are you hurt? Shouldn't you be at the hospital?"

Gai shakes his head, wiping his face on his blood covered arm, smearing blood all over his face. He pulls the arm back and scowls at it before his entire face turns pale and slack. "Not mine," he says absently, looking as if he's going to be sick any moment now.

"Come here," Kakashi reaches out and grabs a hold of Gai's hand, dragging him to the bathroom. He’ll have to ask him what happened later. His first priority is getting Gai cleaned up.

Once in the bathroom, Kakashi aggressively turns the shower on and then pushes Gai underneath the spray of water. Gai has gone eerily quiet and it makes Kakashi wary and uncomfortable. Usually, Gai would be speaking to him a mile a minute, and Gai not doing just that is strange. Now, Gai stands there, not moving and staring off at a distant spot on the floor, eyes glazed over once more. Kakashi watches as the blood washes off of Gai’s skin and clothes. He’s going to need a proper bath to get all the grime off.

Kakashi turns away and turns the tap on for the bathtub, letting it fill up. Steam begins to engulf the air in the room, making it hot and sticky. Kakashi finds it hard to breathe with his mask on, the stench of sweat, mud, and blood filling the air with the hot moister. When he turns back to Gai, his eyes have wandered to stare at his hands, as if he can still see the blood on them.

Kakashi has a sickening feeling he knows exactly what has happened.

He pulls Gai out of the shower by the shoulder and walks him over to the tub. He shoves Gai down onto the bath stool, preparing a basin of water and a sponge. “Gai.” Gai jumps at Kakashi’s voice but doesn’t meet his eye. His arms fall to his side, limp and dragging Gai’s entire body into a slouch.

“Gai,” Kakashi tries again, tone lower and more gentle than before. “Gai, you need to clean yourself.” There’s no response and Kakashi sighs heavily. “I’m going to take your clothes off.”

He strips Gai bare of his sandals and his legwarmers, peeling off the wet jumpsuit one sticky section at a time. He hates how it feels when he pulls it off from Gai’s skin, how it sticks to him, and how it sounds. He ignores how when it’s finally off of Gai’s body, it drips with water that is tinged pink. He throws it to the side and it lands in a corner with a loud splash.

Kakashi looks over Gai’s body for any injuries. His ankle is a bit swollen which would explain the limp and when he touches the sensitive area, Gai flinches away. It doesn’t look broken though, or at least not to the naked eye, but Kakashi has seen many broken bones and he thinks it would have swollen more than it has if it were. He probably twisted it then. 

The rest of Gai’s body looks fine. Minor cuts and bruises, nothing too serious. He’s shivering now that he is naked and Kakashi turns back to the tub to turn the tap off. He grabs the sponge that has been floating in the basin of water and starts scrubbing at Gai’s skin, not even bothering to try and be gentle about it. That doesn’t matter at the moment. What matters is getting Gai into the bathtub so he can warm up.

Kakashi scrubs and scrubs and scrubs, until the water in the basin is a mixture of brown from dirt and pink with blood. Gai’s skin turns a bright red in irritation as Kakashi tries his damndest to tear the tainted flesh off of Gai’s bones, rubbing it completely raw. He starts to bleed, some of the cuts on his body opening back up.

Gai’s body is nothing but a child’s and Kakashi has to swallow against the thought that he hates seeing it like this. Kakashi’s body is a child’s as well, but he’s been doing this a lot longer than Gai. He’s already a Jonin. His body has already been marred and broken and dirtied from the deaths dealt by Kakashi’s hands.

Gai’s body needs to stay perfect for as long as possible.

“Get in the tub,” Kakashi orders, dropping the sponge into the basin. The water splashes onto Kakashi’s bare feet. He pays it no mind as Gai lifelessly stands from the stool and stumbles into the bathtub, almost falling face first when he trips. Kakashi catches him, keeping a hand on his arm as Gai lowers himself into the water. “Be careful, you idiot.”

Gai doesn’t react to the scolding. He sits there, staring at the water, shivering uncontrollably. Kakashi frowns. “Stay there.”

He goes over and picks up Gai’s abandoned clothes, ringing them out and then carrying them out of the bathroom. He’s not entirely sure if Gai has a special way of washing his clothes but Kakashi doesn’t care. He needs them to be cleaned and Gai isn’t in any shape to tell him how to do it. He throws them into the washing machine, sandals and all, and deposits the detergent into the machine. He then starts it up, using the quick cycle, and watches as it spins to life.

He stands there for several minutes, gathering himself and the strength he needs to continue to help Gai. He goes into his bedroom and digs around in his closet. Gai is a little bigger than he is since he’s older but Kakashi’s own clothes are all he has so they will have to do. He pulls out a sweatshirt and sweatpants, lying them down onto his bed. Kakashi then goes back to the bathroom, taking a deep breath to ground himself, before entering.

Gai is still sat obediently in the tub. As Kakashi approaches, he’s happy to see the shivering has ceased and he’s looking more aware than before. “Gai?” Kakashi asks, hesitantly. Gai turns to face him but doesn’t say anything. “It’s time to get out.”

He helps Gai out, Gai wincing as he puts pressure on his ankle. Kakashi is going to have to wrap it but first, he needs to get Gai dressed. He lets Gai lean on him as they make their way to Kakashi’s bedroom. Kakashi assists Gai with drying himself off and then gently helps Gai on to the bed so that he is sitting on the edge. He slips the clothes onto him, murmuring an apology for the size. Gai mumbles that it’s okay. His voice is still too soft and timid.

“I’m going to wrap your ankle.” Kakashi grabs the bandages off his side table. Normally, they would be kept in the bathroom but Kakashi has gotten into the habit of leaving them by his bed for easy access. That way when he gets home from a long and hard mission, when he’s too exhausted to crawl his way to the bathroom, he can still bandage himself up.

Kakashi wraps up Gai’s ankle and is self-conscious of Gai’s eyes watching him. He wonders if Gai is judging his bandaging skills and is thinking he can do better than Kakashi. Kakashi almost wishes Gai would go back to being catatonic just so he would stop looking at Kakashi like that. When he’s done, Kakashi gives the ankle a once over to make sure he’s satisfied with his work.

Happy with the bandages, Kakashi stands. “You can rest in my bed,” he says, in a way that Gai knows to not argue with him. Although, Kakashi isn’t so sure Gai would have it in him to do that anyway.

He nods and lies down, allowing Kakashi to pull the blanket up to his chin. Kakashi looks at the time. It’s already almost 3:30 and suddenly, Kakashi is glad he doesn’t have a mission to go to later. He’s going to be exhausted and he’s not sure how Gai will be in a few hours, if he’ll still need him.

He turns to walk away from the bed when Gai catches him by the wrist. “Please don’t leave me.” He sounds like he might start crying again. If he does, Kakashi isn’t sure how to handle that.

“I’ve got to change my clothes. They’re all wet.” He tugs his wrist out of Gai’s grasp and walks away, ignoring how Gai’s breath hitches. Maybe he’s going to start panicking again.

Kakashi changes in the bathroom. While in there, he drains the bathtub and watches as the water swirls until it’s all gone. He throws his own wet clothes into the same corner Gai’s had been in previously. He’ll deal with them later. For now, he goes and switches Gai’s clothes to the dryer, leaving Gai’s sandals out to air dry. He then makes his way back to where Gai is lying.

His face is buried into Kakashi’s pillow, soft muffled whimpers escaping from his throat. Kakashi’s chest constricts again and he walks over to the other side of the bed, pulling the covers back, and slipping in under them. He scoots closer over to Gai and wraps his arms around his waist, pulling the slightly larger boy flush against him.

He’s shivering again.

Kakashi hates it.

“Gai.” Gai curls in on himself at his name, knees drawing up and into the fetal position. “What happened?”

“Bad mission,” it’s all Kakashi gets out of him and Kakashi squeezes his middle.

“Tell me more.” Gai stays silent. “Now,” he demands, acting as the commanding Jonin that he should be despite the physical position they are currently in.

A violent shudder runs through Gai and Kakashi nuzzles into the back of his neck to try and help calm him. It’s what his ninken do and it always seems to help Kakashi. Why not Gai?

“We…” Gai sniffles and raises a hand to wipe at his face. He then wipes his hand on Kakashi’s sheets but Kakashi can’t be mad at him for it. After all, Kakashi has done the same many times. “We had no choice. We were attacked, Kakashi, and we… I…” he trails off again.

“Are you going to be sick?” Kakashi asks, feeling the heat coming off of Gai in waves. His body is covered in a cold sweat. So much for getting cleaned.

Gai shakes his head but Kakashi isn’t so sure he’s telling the truth. He sits up. “Hold on.” He gets out of bed, wanders to his kitchen, and grabs a large bowl. He brings it back to the bedroom and places it on the floor next to Gai. “Just in case,” he says, crawling back in beside Gai. He resumes his previous position, with Gai’s back pressed close to Kakashi’s chest. “Continue,” he orders.

Gai straightens his legs and they brush against Kakashi’s, feet tangling together. “We weren’t prepared. We weren’t sent out to fight. Chōza-sensei wasn’t with us because… because we’re Chunins now.” Gai has been a Chunin for at least a year. He should be used to Chōza-san not going with him on missions by now and Kakashi knows that’s not why he said that.

“We’ve fought before. Of course, we have,” Gai carries on. “But this… this was different. This was… Kakashi, we had to.”

“Had to what?” Kakashi prompts even though he already knows the answer. The first time he had to, he wasn’t any better off than Gai is now.

“Kill,” Gai says the word quietly. Too quietly. He then promptly doubles over and throws up into the bowl Kakashi had set near him, regurgitating any food pills and vitamins he might have taken on his mission.

Kakashi grimaces at the sound but rubs at Gai’s straining back soothingly. It doesn’t last long. Gai probably had a mostly empty stomach to begin with. Kakashi debates getting up to grab Gai a glass of water but when he looks at the boy, lying once more beside him, and seeing just how  _ young _ and  _ small _ he is, he can’t bring himself to leave him again.

Instead, he nudges Gai back onto his side and pulls him closer, squeezing Gai’s body up against him so that they are lying the way they were before. Kakashi stabs his nose into the back of Gai’s neck, breathing him in, and letting him weep and shake in his arms without saying a word. Eventually, Gai does calm and goes limp. His legs are intertwined with Kakashi’s. Neither of them makes to move them.

Kakashi thinks about asking Gai why he had come to him instead of going home where Dai could take care of him but he doesn’t have to. He already knows the answer. It’s the same reason why Kakashi never goes to Minato-sensei whenever he has a tough mission that leaves him crumpled on the floor in the corner, feeling like dying.

Kakashi doesn’t blame Gai for not wanting his father to see him like this. Dai is special. He’s innocent like a child who goes to the playground and runs up the slide to his friends. That innocence needs to be protected.

Gai would stain and defile it if he went to him now.

Kakashi’s already ruined so he will take that burden on for Dai and for Gai. He’ll take the disgust and the anger and the mental exhaustion. He’ll entrap whatever Gai is feeling at the moment, take it away from Gai, and pull it into himself instead. That way, when the sun rises, Gai can go back home to his father as if nothing had happened. That way Gai can be okay, or as okay as he’ll ever be from now on, and Dai will be none the wiser.

That way, Dai doesn’t have to have his own innocence destroyed like theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> Out of all the fics I wrote for this week event, I have to admit, this one is my favorite.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> [Tumblr](https://angelcamael.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Fanfiction Tumblr](https://lopithecusfanfiction.tumblr.com/)


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